Hang on. You have existing knee pain and want to try MSEM squatting? Are you high?
0.25mg Xanax homie...
I wish you to go through the same stuff I gone, so maybe you can understand why you need to take Xanax.
What did you go through?
Well, long story short - first I was in love when I was 18 years old and that totally wrecked me emotionally (absolutely destroyed me, it was such a great shock I can't even describe it) because that was with a girl from another town so far away and we kept on talking over Yahoo Messenger (we met in real life but shortly - she is the daughter of some family friends) and she was really telling me all kinds of stuff but when it was time for commitement, well, that's another story.
Then my dad got into an affair with a woman from Canada so there were fights and arguments and police stuff for 3 years at my home daily in a former very calm and decent family. That absolutely destroyed me, every day that was happening I was in my bed basically entering shock (body shivers uncontrollable), got to 64 kg bodyweight as shock effects, basically I was bones with no meat...
Then my mom falls on the floor to scare my dad and instead scares the heck out of me, then my dad finds that (me and) my mom sent an e-mail to that woman to tell her to stop with all this so my dad talks with her on the phone and attacks my mom with a big knife to scare her (not going into details on that one but it was horror movie like)...
Then my mom tried to commit suicide two times with pills (blood pressure lowering pills and other stuff, took about 80 of them) so I went with the ambulance to the emergency hospital not knowing if she's OK or not (she kept on telling she's OK but...) then she went crazy and got into psychiatric hospitals for 8 times in 2 years or so, talking all kinds of weird things, seeing things, hearing things etc... absolutely nightmarish. I had periods when I was literally asking myself if it's real or if it's some kind of a weird reality.
If you compound all this stuff in a very short time window it will absolutely destroy you. It was basically shock after shock after shock all with very little time separation, so you end up in a position that you can't continue to control your emotions... you just feel your body "drain" and "melt" (literally - you feel a warmth inside you like fire that's melting you). Hopefully you'll never understand what I mean.
Today, if someone in his car rangs it's horn I can get scared easily. Or if I'm in a car driving a little faster I get scared like shit. Or I get so impressed with movies or music. So much more than before. It kind of transforms you and you understand that everything you thought it was important it's really not, and everything you minimized as not important and laughed at actually is important. There are very few important things on this world once you realize and expand (or collapse) into this mindset. It can be helpful to become aware of all this stuff or it can destroy you, or both. It depends on personality and your former values I suppose.
I could write a lot about this stuff, I have the arrogance to think I know what I'm talking about now that I've gone through so much, but whatever.
So as you can see, that's not really a great way to live and "athletically and healthy train". Sounds like fun, eh?