Last night:
I was about 14 years old, accompanying Tony Soprano and his boss, who was some guy wearing a porkpie hat, to a meeting with the big mob boss in a restaurant. As we were walking in, some guys handed Tony a leather suitcase, which he hefted. It seemed pretty light, and Tony and the guy exchanged a chagrined look, kind of wincing but smiling at the same time. I thought there must be a gun in there, but we went over the the big boss's booth and Tony proceeded to tell him that we were short on the payment for this month, only had about $20K instead of the promised amount. The big boss smiled and said it was okay, he understood that this was hard times. Tony unzipped the suitcase and inside it was mostly empty space, with a few random stacks of bills. He zipped it back up and handed it to the big boss, and we left.
Later, I was walking down the street in the afternoon. There was snow on the ground and I was wearing a jacket. Somehow, the details aren't clear anymore, I ended up either hitting or getting hit by a minivan. The lady driving it got out and it was Edie Falco, who played Tony Soprano's wife on the show. Somehow either I was at fault, or she felt bad and offered to pay me to do some housework, but either way, I ended up back at her house.
Once there, she started hitting on me and ended up dragging me into a side room and pulling me down onto her. This was Edie Falco, no doubt, but in my dream she was younger and cuter than real life. Things got pretty hot and heavy and my 14-year-old self was like, "FUCK YES! MILF TRYING TO FUCK ME! YES! AWESOME! SHIT! I HAVE TO PEE! SHIT! NO! DON'T BLOW THIS!" But I really, really had to go, like boner-blocking bladder pressure, so I told her I'd be right back and went to find the bathroom. But I couldn't find it, I was frantically opening doors and debating whether I should just pee in a trash can or in the kitchen sink, but then I was afraid she'd walk in on me doing it. So I finally found the bathroom and went, but by the time I came out she had put some clothes back on and walked back into the kitchen. She was over it, shit just wasn't happening. I had blown it. Crestfallen.
Sometime soon after, the CEO of my company's executive assistant, who's a kind of fat lady and who has made at least one other appearance in my dreams (as a witch or the devil, no joke, see an early dream journal post) opened the front door and let in Edie Falco's young kids, probably 8-10 years old. She was obviously their nanny. Introductions were made and it was obvious that it was my time to leave.
Cut to me walking home, back down my street, and I see my friends out on the porch. They are Dukie, Michael and Naymond from The Wire. Naymond is standing in the snow, cleaning some kind of barrel, maybe he's about to make a fire in it. I start telling them my story, about how I was this close to banging a serious MILF, and they're like, "Psh, whatever man," and we're all laughing about it. Me because I can't believe it and them because they don't believe me.
Then I woke up.
