scoob that video is some inspiring shit. keep getting after it. like jumperer said, looking smooth.
x2
I actually had a big reply written out a few days ago, but didn't post it & rebooted & lost it.
In a nutshell, scoob you need to be careful thinking about the past and how you approach the future. When you factor in "how long you have been training", it compounds the stress. When you set deadlines and don't meet them, it compounds the stress. Add that to the fact that your sleep is not adequate it seems, and you've been messing around with your diet by literally skipping meals and such to get leaner, and you are going to view things through a much more negative lens.
The bottom line is, you've had major setbacks & loss of motivation in training over the years, just like we all have. But right now you are improving again. You've been very close to landing some crushing dunks on those hoops, but they flew out. One thing that's always been interesting to me is how, when one gets "CLOSER" to their goal, it can become much harder than when they were much further away: ie, starting the race is easier than finishing it. Right now you are approaching the finish line for your first HARD dunk.
So you aren't really losing your battle, if you're making progress, which you are doing. You might be losing it mentally, by forgetting about the progress you've made, or minimizing the magnitude of these small improvements.
Finally, some of this "extended rest" you are taking, is probably a good thing. You don't really listen to your body much, from what i've seen from your training over the years - i mean you listen to coaches and advice but, you don't necessarily know when to back off, when to push, how hard you should push several days before wanting to jump your max, etc. So right now it seems like you are experiencing some serious fatigue, and that's forcing you to back off a bit - which is fine, listen to it. At some point after landing some hard dunks, I think you'll actually make more progress in this area because you won't be putting as much pressure on yourself to land that first one. The small details like getting enough sleep, eating right, knowing how to create fatigue and how to rest/recover/rebound off of it etc, are very important. If you're not getting enough sleep and you know you should be, dial back training (frequency) a bit until you start getting that back under control. If you're skipping meals etc though, don't expect to be strong or powerful in your workouts/jump sessions, also expect to lose motivation because that kind of stuff can play tricks in your mind.
The only problem with having a coach, from my experience, is when the coach wants you to do one thing but your body (and yourself) really want you to do another - especially when we're talking about fatigue. So make sure you are relaying this stuff back to your coach and perhaps talk about deloading a bit & stepping up the quality, reducing the volume etc, in order to recover a bit more and have some better sessions. Sometimes one needs to back off a bit in order to regain some "fun" with training etc - when it's a constant grind, it can become mentally grueling. Mentally grueling can be great for a while, but it's not entirely sustainable, and sometimes the best "phase" after following some mentally grueling training cycle, is to transition into one which is more focused on quality.
Might be good to keep trying to "get back to focusing on the process", not just the outcome. It seems like you've drifted completely to focusing on the "outcome" lately, ie "I just want to dunk" etc, but the process is where it all comes together.
dno just some thoughts.
peace!