Adarq.org

- GMB warm up
hamstrings still sore

- KB swing
right hamstring tweaked on first swing. motherfucker. gonna stretch it gently but otherwise this night is over. shoulder and knee and enough to be recovering from inadequately.

fuck!!!

EDIT: thought about running gently today, then thought better of it given yesterday's alarm.

Wise choice.

yesterday

- treadmill run 4.2km in 25:11
walked first 2:30 and last 2:30

- GMB warm up

- stretch

so much sweat. good.

no real workout tonight, did do an hour-long swing dance class with gf, though. was fun, broke a light sweat.

That's a solid effort! Great natural endurance by the sounds of it.

- run 4km in 20:35
walked the first ~150m, then pace was right at 5:00/km despite trying deliberately to take it easy.

- walk 400m

- stretch

nice!!

was in the mountains for the last few days, warmed up and stretched a bit in the mornings but otherwise work was flat-out: visiting local community groups all day and catching up on normal stuff all night. really stressed out. also my gf is pissed at me for reasons which she will not elaborate, which ordinarily i would be much better able to deal with but which right now is just making me frustrated. trying to figure out what to do with the frustration, where to channel it. i am, generally speaking, a very emotionally stable and self-contained person. i have deep reserves of patience for myself and for other people. it's weird for them to have been whittled so far down.

damn that's weird as hell about the gf.. :/

kinda related, when I was doing my "recovery" walk yesterday, my mind was thinking about crap I didn't want it to think about, just random political b.s.. probably was walking too slow, when I walk faster it clears more. Anyway, I had on a long sleeve but for some reason after a while I rolled down my sleeve so I could see my forearms, clenched my fist lightly until I could see some veins, and just imagined my thoughts exiting my body. Actually seemed to help.. But I also thought, this is kind of weird, almost feels like a "cutter" thing, but without the cutting.

I guess i've really come to hate stress & all of the ridiculous shit in the world.. Figuring out what helps to tune it out on demand, is becoming more important to me. With running and intense walking etc, I think it helps me tune out, by tuning in to those efforts. I mean initially I could think about garbage, but as time goes on it just all seems to go blank.. That's actually a side effect that I really enjoy. Really helps when you have the time too though I guess, i'm lucky right now with that.

peace dude!@$!@

hashed things out with the gf on saturday afternoon. made sense why she was upset, and i'm glad we talked it out.

nice!!

one difference between her and my ex, who i was with for 5+ years, is that my ex was a lot more like me: super emotionally self-contained and protective. current gf wears a lot more on her sleeve, has a lot more anxieties and less of the kind of deep self-confidence that my ex and i both have. and that's good for me, because it forces me to be more sensitive and to give more. ex and i never, ever fought, and so i was always holding back a little. she challenged me in some ways but not emotionally. like i can remember two serious arguments we had between the first time we hooked up and the day we broke up.

interesting.. and ya i presumed just by some of the photos and her "snowflake" name that she's more emotional/emotions on sleeve.

one of the things i love about current gf is that she lets me know if something i'm doing makes her feel bad. sometimes i think she's not being fair, but then she listens if i want to justify myself.

nice

anyway.

- run 5km in 24:38
nice. let myself pace naturally until the last lap when i picked it up just a little.

- walk 500m

- stretch

nice man!

- KB swing x 10,10,10,10,10

- GMB warm up

- stretch

just to get the juices flowing a little and stretch. right toe's bugging a bit. shoulder in a downswing.