Men need to be men and women need to be women.
This pretty much sums it up! There's some kind of "culture war" or maybe ideological war on masculinity and it's very annoying.
And people are too stuck in their binary thinking ways, whether its this topic, or politics, or whatever. Tell someone you don't like trump and they'll assume you love hilary. Meanwhile I don't like either. Tell someone you want to be muscular/masculine and they'll assume you also want to break women's hearts, get into fights, be rude, when you don't. That's an issue a lot of people have with their mode of thinking, it's too binary.
Some random advices pulled from /r/deadbeadroom on reddit from different threads:
"Plan a day where the kids go to her parents house so the two of you can have a lunch date then talk at home privately. Tell her how you really feel. That it hurts you. Her feelings aren't the only ones that should matter in your marriage."
"I would first sit down with her and tell her how you are feeling, calmly, but all of it - and then, just as importantly if not more, ask her what her reasons are for not wanting sex"
Do people actually think these kinds of approaches are going to
sexually arouse a woman? They act like they can negotiate sexual arousal! These men have to first look at
themselves. Are they keeping up with their appearances, or did they let themselves go once getting married? Are they desirable? Do they still flirt with their wives and tease her and make her laugh and be unpredictable with her? Do they drop their important tasks at work just to respond to a non-important text of hers every single time? Do they go to the gym, fix their hair, dress decent, smell nice? Do they take the lead in important matters or are they complacent with everything? Do they tell her "no" when it's the right thing to do, or do they give in every time just to please her?
These men have to make themselves attractive before thinking something is wrong with their wives not wanting sex with them. But the problem is, we are being raised in a society where "toxic masculinity" has blurred the lines between a masculine gentleman and a masculine abuser. Getting a six pack doesn't automatically mean you're now rude and abrasive. Taking the lead in important matters doesn't automatically mean you walk over your wife and dont take her needs and opinions into consideration. Telling her "no" doesn't mean she doesn't have a say - it means when something isn't right, you let her know that. Let her know she should not do XYZ which is unethical, or unconducive to some goals, or whatever. But that is what "toxic masculinity" will have you think...
man i went off in your log, sorry bro! nice uh... athleticism
