much of what you think you know about training is actually mistaken. you've read some articles, you know a little bit about training, you know how to do some exercises, you know a little about diet, and your brain has made what feel like big logical connections. but those connections are mostly off. it's as if you started playing a video game where you can see part of the map, and with your imagination you have filled in the blank spaces erroneously but with a great deal of confidence. now you're trying to navigate around the blank parts and every time you reach a place that doesn't reflect the scheme that you made up, you either make a violent effort to proceed as if your mental map is correct, or else you say, "fuck that way, i didn't want to go that way anyway," and you turn around. but the treasure is on the other side of the blank part of the map! and we have an active member whose version of the map is much more complete than yours, who is willing to help you get there for free!
so, here is some unsolicited advice: stop thinking you know better. better yet, stop thinking you know anything. allow yourself to be led. your commitment and drive are unmatched on this site except maybe by adarq and t0ddday. you've made some great progress at times. but you're shooting yourself in the foot over and over. just listen to t0ddday.
or keep spinning your wheels and engaging in the world's most pointless (because, again, your premises are wrong) intellectual wankery.