Glad to see you persevering... As far as some of the questions you posed.
1) I like when you say things like "Lots more running and jumping .. i need to re-program my body to think it's that of an athlete as opposed to a sedentary person who sometimes lifts a few times a week."
I cringe when you say: "i was never wired up genetically to be athletic and be able to express my power in a game situation; you never have that much time to set up and launch for a dunk of two when you're as slow as I am. I never got a single game time dunk and as far as i am concerned I never will either."
You simply don't know that? Did you have your genome sequenced and figure out exactly where this allele that makes people explosive is? Or are you just giving yourself a ridiculous excuse? All this talk about "slow" jumping is mostly nonsense. You are hardly above 6'ft and you can tomahawk. You jump close to 40'' off the ground. That is explosive. When you jump you are going just as fast off the ground as the next guy who jumps that height... The concept of a "quick" jumper is mostly myth and an inability to tell proficiency and skill from power and speed...
You and I are in the same boat in a lot of regards. We are the same age, both don't get much carryover from squats, both sprint, both are double leg jumpers and have the worst plant for dunking (I am LR and R handed you are RL and L handed), both get injured from too much ME jumping... I have played probably 50 games of pickup basketball in the last 6 months and have gotten exactly 1 in-game non-tip dunk and it came on a perfect cut around the baseline when everything lined up right. I don't even try to dunk on the fastbreak because unless the nearest guy is near half court I'm afraid I slow down too much to plant that I will get undercut or bothered enough to miss a dunk... Despite this I'm not going to make some excuse that involves me genetically unable to do something... That type of negative belief is paralyzing... I know I need to learn the opposite plant and become good enough with the ball to shield it and bring it up in a fashion where I can't get stripped on dunk attempts. I know you need to drop the negativity about how your a "slow" jumper from your head and just go nuts. Lots of ways to get over it. Get a weight vest and take it off after awhile and feel light... Go to a gym where you are alone and just scream as loud as you can and run around as fast as you can once in awhile. Get out of your head and you will realize the untapped potential you have when you let go of paralyzing ideas. Or do something that makes you feel explosive. Go do some backflips. When I'm feeling slow I go do some outdoor gymnastics where I know I have to fire quickly or I will end up on my head. Nothing like it for reminding yourself that you can move quickly...
2) As far as your diet/recomp goals. Your disciplined cutting is the stuff of legend. I've cut down to 208 from 230 while recovering my knee and your diet log is hugely inspirational. You are officially lean now. I'm not gonna tell you to bulk but I am gonna tell you to start pushing yourself in the gym. Part of the reason you feel slow is probably because you fluctuate from fat and slow and lean and depleted. Settle in at 185 and let yourself eat a bit more but reduce rest intervals and do the whole body split that I advocate... You will recomp and stay lean but you will be a stronger, more muscular, primed and explosive lean.
Despite my criticism your progress is some of the best I have seen. If I could get you out of your head you would be a great athlete to train.
Firstly thanks so much for that post. It means a lot. I read it and it left an impression on me because it was what I needed to hear.
I'm glad you quoted me on the in-game dunk situation. I think you are right that a big part of in-game dunking is being aggressive and attacking the rim. It kinda clicked when Kobe gave the advice to his young rookie teammate that he was attacking the rim like a lightskinned dude. Racism aside, i know what Kobe is getting at there, it's a mindset to be aggressive and go for it. But if i was to analyse my thought process, it would be, nope nope, no way am i attacking the rim with someone in the way because I don't want to risk an ankle injury by landing awkwardly or on someone etc. Still, I think I need to make that decision late late, like if there is no way I can land safely, then just find some space and go for a layup or pass out -- but if there is no reason not to finish the dunk then GO FOR IT and be fearless. I love that this single challenge for me is so key -- if I can dunk in-game (not a fast break but in a half court set) then i've accomplished something amazing (for me), a) overcoming my limitations as an athlete and b)my mental inhibitions which rule out the aggressive drive. I need to re-program my mind first, you're absolutely right. Having said that though, my speed in setup for a dunk needs to improve. As in how long I can get my 1-2 steps in before launching up. This also has a skilll component to it which I haven't exploited. I should be able to make space for myself by playing the game, taking my defender one way on the dribble and then collecting the ball last second to go the other for a dunk. That kind of thing. It's a multifacted challenge that wont be overcome with just one thing, it has to be a mastery of all of these different facets at the same time.
You know when I was playing pickup mid dec when i'd just come off my cut, I felt so fast on the court like I was faster than my mind could believe. That would have been a perfect time to attempt something but then again the pace of half court pickup is so slow with like 4v4 or 5v5 and defenders just camp around unlike game situations where people are hussling to stay on their man or cover their position on a zone. I think my chance of getting a dunk in-game will be a full court game where everyone is busy doing their thing and I'm able to get the ball and just attack the rim without going up 1v3 for example.
I do agree with your advice to pick up a bodyweight and get strong at it and not be a dieted down version of that weight but a strong version where you're eating enough to recover and train hard and aren't suffering from a diet induced performance wall. For me that should be something like my current bodyweight .. but im fairly sloppy right now.i've been eating badly lately due to life stuff and I need to shake that off and get myself back on track in eating cleaner and focusing on life ahead instead. I think around mid Dec i was close to being where i needed to be, quite leanish not ripped. Would have been good time to maintain that bodyweight and jus get strong at it. I can get back there, just need to get my shit together soon.