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Thanks acole & LBSS. I'm 31. The fact is the last 4 weeks or so, i've already tried to do those things but it feels very much like shutting the door after the horse has already bolted. The opportunity or window has closed. It's like how OKC could have won multiple championships when Durant, Westbrook, Ibaka and Harden were healthy - but mismanagement meant they never did even though everyone knows they could have - it's too late now with trades, injuries and lost opportunities. Sure you could Westbrook healthy dropping triple doubles but if Durant isn't there, it's all for naught. Or without the right championship calibre coaching.

 I'm just saying, my window probably has closed now. Ankle has healed but the damage done to my back isn't going away. It's just not just heavy squats, i haven't gone over 100kg in a month, i can stay away from them but when every single ME jump (which is what a dunk takes now) hurts my back acutely, it's not worth it to even try. Im pretty sure it's my spine not muscular so not sure what massages would do - sometimes they make things worse if it's spinal not muscular which probably respond better to that stuff. I have found the less i do, the better in this case. When i went overboard with SMR stuff, it didn't help at all. Better left alone which is what i've done the last couple of weeks and it's worked though jumping is out.

If it wasn't for that, i do think i could get a lot out of my body yet, just don't know if that will ever be the case now or if this is going to be chronic.

Well pin into pillars comes to an end .. sad cause i was taking 7.5kg-5kg jumps pretty easily up to 7x7x97.5kg but my back wont allow me to continue, so scrapped it today. Took a huge reset and will be aiming for 10x10x100 now, starting with 7x10x45ish today. Next workout i'll go for 8x10x65kg and sunday 10x10x70. I should be able to take bigger jumps up to 82.5kg and then i'll take smaller ones of 2.5kg, probably, to give myself a chance to heal my back by the time i get to the high 90s.

BW: 87.5kg/186lb

FS 10x40, BS 10x40, FS 10x50, BS 10x50, BS 3x10x60

Im closing this log today for 3 reasons

a) my injuries no longer allow me to train the same way
b) satnam drafted into the NBA 
c) im changing focus to a new way

return 0;

nah man don't do it! or are you gonna start a new log?

Yep new log! Let me summarise this log. The problem with this whole journey was i wanted athleticism but instead i chased a big squat and didn't really make much of a dent in my lofty pursuit of athleticism. Dont get me wrong, squats went a long way from where I started athletically never been able to do a dunk until my late 20s when I made this log. Evenually I was able to do powerful dunks off a drop step or two - but squats had essentially transformed me into a double leg jumper, which is good cause it meant i could express more power that ever before, more than almost everyone i faced on the court -- i won pretty much every single jump ball at the start of the the games we played as a result.

 Beyond that though the problem was i was never wired up genetically to be athletic and be able to express my power in a game situation; you never have that much time to set up and launch for a dunk of two when you're as slow as I am. I never got a single game time dunk and as far as i am concerned I never will either. I practiced drop step dunks and was pretty good at them but never had the opportunity during a game. Opposition never gives you that much room especially in FIBA rules. The only time i had an attempt at a dunk was on a fast break and this is funny - i hit the rim cause im not athletic enough. Athletic means reactive, and its no coincidence that single attempt was a one leg jump one.

Now injuries have made it impossible to squat heavy and even more jump off two - so this journey comes to an end. Not by choice, if it was up to me, i'd keep working away, adding a few kilos to my squat, dieting off the fat, and eventually hopefully getting enough strength to satisfy me to turn to reactivity. But this choice has been made for me now - i can't jump off two, i can squat heavy. Today something happened which convinced me that it was time to start something new. A new chapter begins now.

2016 Prologue

My perspective on body comp and attaining changes has somewhat changed after xmas. I was fairly active since then, clocking up to 30k steps on the fitbit on NYE for example and on average around 15k on other days. And despite the nightly drinking and eating loads of food, i still managed to get leaner or at least mitigate fat gains even though my body was no doubt primed to gain fat post-cutting. But going forward, im going to be more active in general. It will get me in shape better.

So here are my rough goals for 2016:

Heal -- heartbreak and being emotionally drained: this is the big one .. any tips?

Squat 140kg for 6 reps (or sets of doubles). Not sure how I bridge the gap with where i am currently (failing a double at 132.5kg yesterday after getting the first rep hard) but i'll just work super hard and find a way.

Continue with the medball exercises. 1x a week is good.

Get lean as fuck (<10%) and strong as fuck (2xbw RDL, 2xbw BS, 3xBW calf raises etc)

Lots more running and jumping .. i need to re-program my body to think it's that of an athlete as opposed to a sedentary person who sometimes lifts a few times a week.
That should do. I have a bball weekend tournament late march that i want to peak for .. wanna be doing easy big windmills in warmups. This is the only comp that really matters to me, it happens every year and last year i was injured

I think it's a good one for now. To make the leanness goal more concrete, i think i need to eventually see the scale weigh 77kg ... that would prob get me close to "lean as fuck" .. provided im also a strong 77kg as opposed to a chronically dieted down weakling.. the key will be patience .. doing it too fast will kill my strength and muscle mass.. too slow and i wont have the motivation... there is def a sweet spot to it. I can prob do a few 10-15 day cut cycles to chip away, maybe 2 of them will get me to 77kg morning bodyweight.

I haven't decided the exact strategy yet but I'd like to get my squat up and diet down some bodyfat I gained since xmas. If i do this in the wrong order, i'll prob end up weaker and smaller. So maybe i'll do a recomp for a while, then when i feel im strong enough, i'll start cutting. Bodyweight is currently under 80kg / 175lb in the mornings and about 80kg / 176.5lb with shoes, clothes and a preworkout meal.. so i'm not too heavy by any means, just not as lean and muscular as I would like at this bodyweight.  I'm not going to be bulking though, don't have the low bodyfat percentage to do it efficiently -- so it would just lead to too much fat gain at this point. Just a reminder to myself to not get carried away and start eating pizzas and shit to see the weights go up easier..

To do a windmill though, i need a lot more strength .. a lot more muscle mass .. a lot less adipose ... and a lot more hard work. I anticipate my non standing vertical will be high 30s, maybe even 40" when i finally reach the goal of an easy, repeatable, powerful windmill.

Ahhhh, niceeee! Hope i wasn't too pushy? This journal is epic, so much progress, experimenting, discussion in here, and so much more to come! 

I'll start logging videos i watch and books and articles I read. I know this will be boring for many but i'll tag my training posts with the appropriate titles so you can easily see and read them instead!

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Watching this joe armstrong one atm

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKXe3HUG2l4" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKXe3HUG2l4</a>

Im getting back into Erlang. Saw a cool sounding job advertised and i'd like to apply .. but need to refresh my erlangs first.