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Progress Journals & Experimental Routines / Re: a fast and explosive donkey!
« on: August 04, 2011, 12:42:16 pm »
quick side note: my youngest brother is in the hospital again. checked himself in on monday after an apparent heroin and cocaine bender (he likes to freebase) that started on friday. he didn't OD but i assume felt like shit as he was coming down, so he rode the bus to the hospital and got himself into a bed. not the first time this has happened, he's been addicted to drugs for years and he's seriously mentally ill, so normally this would be nothing new and i wouldn't post about it.
but my parents are at the end of their ropes: they had NEVER asked me to do anything until yesterday, when my dad asked me to do them a favor through a connection i have. that, more than anything else, is freaking me out right now. i went to talk to my boss about it, basically to say that i'm gonna take a bit longer lunch break than usual so i can do this favor -- not important what it is -- and i realized i'd been trembling a bit. still am.
i love my brother and have been worried about him dying suddenly for many years but that worry doesn't often surface. i'm exuberant but very emotionally controlled and independent, so when that quality breaks even a little bit it's very distracting. i'll go to the gym tonight and put in as much work as i can but it might not be my best work.
not fishing for pity or sympathy, just noting it down because it's having a pretty big impact on my ability to focus.
but my parents are at the end of their ropes: they had NEVER asked me to do anything until yesterday, when my dad asked me to do them a favor through a connection i have. that, more than anything else, is freaking me out right now. i went to talk to my boss about it, basically to say that i'm gonna take a bit longer lunch break than usual so i can do this favor -- not important what it is -- and i realized i'd been trembling a bit. still am.
i love my brother and have been worried about him dying suddenly for many years but that worry doesn't often surface. i'm exuberant but very emotionally controlled and independent, so when that quality breaks even a little bit it's very distracting. i'll go to the gym tonight and put in as much work as i can but it might not be my best work.
not fishing for pity or sympathy, just noting it down because it's having a pretty big impact on my ability to focus.