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I find these values super high. People on the court doing similar effort as me (moving around at the same pace and so on) are barely at 100 or so. How could this be?

Glute/landmine focus day 4:

Hip thrust:

60x5
60x15
100x8
120x6
60x10

Landmine one-leg deadlift:

bar x 10
bar + 20 kg x 8 (side deadlift)
bar + 20 kg x 8L, 5R (front deadlift)

Seated cable rows:

40x10
80x8
80x8 (felt great)

Triceps cable pulldowns:

30x10
30x10 (felt great)

Bodyweight: 93.0 kg
Sleep rating: 5/5
Exhaustion level: 8.5/10

Comments: Felt strong again, although I didn't warm up too much when I started doing the hip thrusts and they were pretty exhausting. Still, in the hip thrust, most likely, I don't remember ever doing 120x6, although I could be wrong.

1 @ 130kg , recent years  , last time i lifted 130 was May2018

Damn nice!

Bench focus day 16:

Bench press:

20x8
20x8
50x5
60x3
70x3 (weak)
65x4 (weak)
60x5 (weak)
50x5 (explosive, weak)

High bar full squat:

20x8
60x8
80x7 (weak)
80x7 (weak)

Single arm overhead pulls to chest:

32x10
32x10

Leg curls + leg extensions:

56x12+56x12

Bodyweight: 93.1 kg
Sleep rating: 4/5 (see comments below)
Exhaustion level: 10/10

Comments:

For some reason felt super weak and exhausted. It was hot in the gym and I had a weird event trying to sleep last night: at some point, something made a loud noise, like a "bang". I went looking for what happened and couldn't find anything obvious, I initially thought my crows pushed a pack of liver from their place down and that made the noise, but I checked and it was still there. No obvious explanation for the loud noise.

But then I found something weird: a necklace on the table, in the living room. How did that end up there? Next thing I know, I find some weird circular "thing" on the floor that I can't figure out what it is.

Looking around, I find a few batteries on the table. One of them didn't have a bottom anymore - it actually exploded. That's what made the noise - the circular thing was the bottom of the exploded battery and the necklace was in the same spot as the battery so it was thrown up and landed there.

These phantoms have too much free time on their hands!

Squat focus day 15:

Low bar squat:

20x5
20x5
60x5
80x5
100x5 (felt strong)
100x3 (stopped intentionally at 3 reps)
60x5 (paused, super explosive)

Bench press:

20x5
20x5
50x10
50x10

Landmine single leg deadlift:

barx8
bar + 20 kg x 8

Single leg curl:

64x3++56x3++48x3++40x3++32x3 (a continuous superset)

Bodyweight: 93.2 kg
Exhaustion level: 8/10

Comments:

Incredibly strong today. Bar was flying. in the bench press, never did two consecutive sets of 10 reps with 50 kg. Squat was very explosive, no idea why. Neck pain is also minimal after physical exercise, it gets worse if I stay in bed.

Thanks, these are good suggestions. I hate water, I have a water phobia and dislike being near it, anything wrong goes on in it, you're dead. So I'm not exactly looking forward to any water stuff.

One of things that bothers me, though, is my pain in the left clavicle and left shoulder. That's been there for the last two+ months. I'm thinking of thoracic outlet syndrome, maybe caused by me doing kettlebell overhead presses for quite a while. But I don't know the term in Romanian and to whichever doctors I mentioned this they looked at me like I was crazy. It super pisses me off that you can't have an actual conversation with a doctor these days, they all think that their patients are stupid and that they are so much smarter.

Totally.

I just came back from the neurologist. He said that he doesn't see that much stuff in the MRIs (for both the cervical spine and the thoracic spine) and that there is degenerative stuff in there but you could find that for any random guy off the street if you would take an MRI for him or her. That there are some areas that might slightly impinge on the spinal cord and that he recommends swimming, doesn't necessarily advocates for me to stop going to the gym, thinks I should be active and I should do kinetotherapy.

As I say this, the paper bag that held the MRI films and documents broke so I had to carry it under my armpit, with my hand underneath it. After I did this, I had terrible pain in the back, in the middle of my back. So I decided to do 10 pushups and a few swings with my light kettlebell and it was better after two minutes or so. It seems like the muscular part of things definitely contributes, considering this.

He also gave me pregabalin, a medicine for chronic pain, to take for 2 weeks or so - maybe my body will "forget" that pain "needs" to be there. I will try.

My idea is to continue to go to the gym but use moderate weights instead of heavy weights. That should put less pressure on the back and allow me to use better form. He said that he thinks my landings from jumps are the most probable cause, since that is much more impactful on the spine than gym work, especially as my right leg was injured and couldn't properly absorb the landing.

What do you guys think?

OK, so here's the deal.

Back in February 2022 I decided to restart training. I found a chalistenics place nearby with pullup bars and so on so I thought "let me try to take it easy and do some of this stuff before even going to the gym again" so that's what I did. I also did some flexibility and mobility work at home.

One day I was at this chalistenics thing and did a bunch of pullups, chinups, pushups, dips and leg raises. The dips and leg raises in particular gave me some pain in the chest and belly, around the plexus area, immediately underneath my sternum. I went home and was a normal day. I also started to do some jumps but I was at 97 kg in bodyweight. After one jump, as I landed, white spots began to appear in my visual field due to the shock of the landing. On top of it all, my right knee was messed up so I couldn't put my right leg into my landings, meaning that the shock of the landings propagated through my spine. I also did some overhead kettlebell presses with my 24 kg kettlebells for a while.

On Feburary 24th (the same time when Russia invaded Ukraine) I woke up at about 6 AM or so, suddenly, with an incredible "rush" (I can't describe it in any other way, just an incredibly scary rush) in my body and I was sure it was a heart attack, it was like a "pressure" in my entire body combined with an extremely powerful (more powerful than anything ever experienced) rush of adrenaline. So I got up and was sure I was going to die, but I tried to focus on surviving, to calm down. It took about 5 to 10 seconds to recover. Incredibly scary stuff.

For the rest of the day I felt super weird but my blood pressure was normal, heart rate was normal and so on. I took some EKGs with my watch, they were normal. Then it happened again, always when trying to sleep. It would happen pretty much immediately if I tried to sleep on my belly, with my head turned to the left - in a few seconds that incredible adrenaline rush would immediately launch and it feels exactly like dying, there's no any other way to describe it.

So I though to myself "if this ever happens or I feel it happening, I will take my heart rate and oxygen levels exactly then" and that's what I did. If it was a panic attack or something like that, I should see a high heart rate. It happened and my heart rate was 57 bpm, so I don't think it's a panic attack, it's some other thing.

I also found out that if I tried to do some kettlebell overhead presses it would immediately worsen the symptoms - dizziness when turning the head and a feeling of "losing control of my body", plus some "tickling" in the chest area.

After a while, the symptoms went away (this "rush" thing happened about 6 times or so and it was equally terrifying every time it did). I thought maybe it was just exhaustion from not being used to physical effort anymore (which in part I bet it was) and you know, I started training again but with less volume, so I don't get too tired. I also went in the park and jumped here and there.

But one day after I jumped and landed I felt some bad pain in my cervical spine, like a neck injury (again, possibly because I coulnd't brake the landing properly due to my right knee being hurt and due to being too heavy) and immediately knew it was worse than it looked. This was in April 2022. The next day I started having pain in the cervicothoracic area, sometimes upwards towards the head.

This has continued ever since - the weird thing is that it sometimes gets better after physical effort, even after squats. But there is pain in the thoracic area as well, especially where the bar sits when you low bar squat. The symptoms improve with beer, xanax or aspirin.

Also, for a few years or so I've started staying "stiff" with my trapezius so I stay upright and not hunched back - but the problem with this is that I can't "relax" anymore - I always stay stiff and tight with my trapezius (which is the place where it hurts) automatically. It's just how I stay, I have to actively think to relax and even then I don't relax completely.

MRI shows C2, C5, T6, T9, T12 and L5 issues with my spine. My guess is that the weird rush symptoms were an inflammation somewhere in the thoracic spine which made me feel like "losing control of my internal organs" (I have no other way to put it, it was like disconnecting the self from the internal organs). And since there are spinal nerves in the thoracic spine which innervate the area in that spot, this is my hypothesis.

I'm going to the neurologist tomorrow but I don't have much hope - the problem is complex, with a lot of details, and these people are there to just make an opinion in 15 minutes and come up with something and most of the time they don't care, they simply say "you're imagining, it's a psychiatric thing" etc. It's been going on for two years, already, and I don't even know its nature, its ethiology - is it nervous? Is it mental? Is it exhaustion? Is it circulatory? I even went as far to assume that the vaccine might be involved, as there is a lack of explanation for these weird symptoms.

But in truth, it has to be the spine, it's the most straightforward explanation. I now have pain the left clavicle and left shoulder, which should be consistent with the cervical nerves projecting pain there. I will update you after the neurologist visit, tomorrow.

EDIT: One more thing - I feel much better if I don't stay in bed. If I walk around I'm pretty good. As soon as I stay in bed, with my back against something, then it's much worse - there's dizziness and weakness.

It's been like this for the last two years. I just didn't mention it.