Adarq.org

today in unexpected consequences of grief: my appetite has gone down. i've made myself the same breakfast 5-7 days a week* for probably 4 years: a smoothie made from frozen strawberries and blueberries, two scoops of WPC, a spoonful of peanut butter (used to use yogurt but i like PB better), water, and a banana. it's a great breakfast. this morning, for the first time that i can remember, i couldn't finish it. i tried, it tasted good, but i was just plain full and i poured about 1/3 of it down the drain.

MattA, i admit to having had the thought, "well, i guess i can finally find out what online dating and tinder and stuff is like." but honestly (1) my libido is nonexistent right now, i'm not sure i could get it up even if i found myself in an insane porno scenario where a hot woman was basically forcing herself on me,** and (2) it's way too soon, the very thought makes me feel sick. i'm still stuck on the fact that i won't see her or do the things i was hoping to do with her this weekend. in time, i guess.

*except when i'm on the road, obviously
**it's funny because while we were together i would fantasize about other women all the time -- an old colleague who is literally my physical archetype for hotness, that one hot bartender at that bar, whoever -- and all of that is gone right now. i literally can barely think about sex.

Sorry bud. 

haha the only time people have noticed weight loss in my face is after i was in afghanistan for three weeks a few years ago and i lost 8-10 pounds from nonstop diarrhea. only time i've had hemorrhoids, too, from all the shitting and wiping. sucked. i think i was 166 when i got home. even my NECK was skinnier, and it's not like a carry a lot of fat there as it is.

gf and i broke up just now, i think. taking one-month break until checking in. pretty fucked up about it.

ETA: can't say i didn't sort of see it coming, i think we were headed this way for a while. and it's probably for the best in the medium term. but it still sucks a whoooole lot.

WEIGHT: ???
SORENESS: none
ACHES/INJURIES: none
MENTAL STATE: good

- warm up

- superset x 15-20 mins
-- layup alternating sides x 4-8
-- free throw x 3 makes

- DLRVJ x ~12
not bad considering this is the third day in a row i've jumped and i'd just done the above. 34ish

- superset x 3
-- DB swing 70 x 8
-- paused squat jump x 3

- superset x 3
-- push up x 15
-- ab pull down 100 x 12
-- inverted row x 15,15,10+5
-- windshield wiper x 3

- stretch

great, great workout.

WEIGHT: ???
SORENESS: none
ACHES/INJURIES: none
MENTAL STATE: good

- warm up

- DLRVJ x ~8
not great, not terrible for first 5-6 jumps. then set up camera and everything went to shit. had two bad/awkward approaches and CNS shut down. tried to get it back up with drop steps but i might as well have been drunk. fuck.

- pogo x 12,12,12

- SL pogo x 8,8/leg

- DB OHP 50s x 7+3+1

- pull up x 10+3+3+1
weeeeak.

- stretch

bah.

WEIGHT: ???
SORENESS: left hamstring a little
ACHES/INJURIES: none
MENTAL STATE: good

- warm up

- DLRVJ submax x ~20
did in groups of 2-3. kept submax by (mostly) not reaching, just trying to get my nose above the bottom of the net.

Gotta push through that shit man!!!! I usually switch up positions when I feel a cramp coming lol

oh don't worry, i pushed through. i just thought it was funny.