Adarq.org

Still here. Kinda...weighed in at 176 today. Bleh. Seems the only thing suffering is my squat tho. Got pinned at 385 last night, just didn't have it. Trying to make a conscious effort to eat more but i just dont feel like it. Did pull 405 for a 3x3 last week and incline bench 225 for 3. That surprised me greatly. Sleeping like shit. Just got to keep going.

Well....some more shit happened. I'll update later. Im so lost and confused now. I hate this.

Played ball today after work. Jumper was off, but handles were ok. Bounce was average. Ran through some drills between games but just couldnt bring the energy in games. Idk if its because i didnt have any or Im just quite demotivated. Sigh. Went and hit chest/shoulder/tri afterward for 2 hours. Going to suck tomorrow.

Thanks guys. Im trying to hold on but its hard....especially at night. My demons arent playing well. No sleep. lots of drinking. stress. 2+hours of ball every day and trying to kill myself in the weight room....i just weighed in at 175.5lbs. I look like shit but i feel ok physically?  idk. just keep pushing. i miss her so much. but i cant be told its not worth it anymore. she called yesterday in tears. I had to hang up.

So again....it really is appreciated. I know ill probably never meet any of you but this board is family. We see each others struggles and trials and it just pulls us together to push each other more. It really is a sanctuary.

Thanks guys. Really, its appreciated greatly. Right now, Im just pouring myself into training, work, my daughter and the cars. It only hurts bad at night when I dont have her to hold. Learned today she did have him over Sunday night. Less than 12 hours after her text. SMH. Just gotta push forward.

Hoopedfor 2 hours tonight then squatted. Woooooo. Might not do that again lol

Squats:
135 x5, 225 x3, 315 x1, 365 x1, 365 x1, 315 x3, 315 x3, 315 x3. Jello legs.

Box jumps, stepups, calf raises, leg extension circuit. Virtually no core tonight. Just drained physically and it was a mental challenge tonight but a good one. It'll make me stronger.

Oh played well too, jumper was falling, handle tight, was nice. Luckily I got to the gym about 30 mins after she finished working out. Would have been painful if i had been on time (I was an hour late lol)

No one in politics is to be considered very trustworthy lol

From Wednesday's warmups. Question: does this look more hip dominant than my normal jumps which are heavily quad dominated?

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kkh0KNqufaI" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kkh0KNqufaI</a>

Lets see....no gym Wednesday so everything got pushed back a day. Did some speed work. Just some cleans and box jumps. Couple 95lb jump squats....cant find my bands tho. Hmmm.

Did chest/tri/shoulders yesterday, took it easier than normal just wasnt into it mentally. Hooped a little afterwards. Felt alright.

Headed to deadlifts shortly now that I parked the normal daily after the first snow fall. It does decent but 400hp on snow and ice isn't fun with the kids. The Subaru is much safer.

Hit back and core last night in the snow lol! Still falling but about to attempt the drive to work then do some speed stuff after. Should be fun. Gym was almost dead last night