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« on: February 03, 2017, 12:37:43 am »
Hard to call it a breakup because we weren't really dating but the chick I've been seeing broke things off last night because, long story short, she's not over her ex. That's probably good in the long run, but at the moment it sucks.
1. being rejected is shitty
2. being rejected in favor of another dude she also rejected but still has feelings for is shittier
3. being rejected after making it clear that the only red line was that she be working on getting over the other dude, her agreeing to that, then getting all weird a few days ago and lying about why even when i asked point-blank about it, sleeping with her a couple of times but not having sex because of said weirdness -- is even shittier
Texted with my friend about it this morning (her night, she's in DC), and she pointed out that it's not personal, for her (the girl here) it's about herself and her feelings for this other guy and the fact that she likes me -- which she does -- is in the background. Also that if the girl is dealing with internal shit then it's way better to have a clean break than be ambiguous about shit. That's true, but still feeling hurt/pissed.
I'll get over it, just feeling a little bit emo today.
ETA: After cooling down a bit, and FB messaging with the chick, I had an epiphany. Namely, that I have been taking our relationship way too seriously. She's leaving the country for good in May, it's not like we have a future together. And she's cool and hot and fun in bed and she likes me and wants to have sex with me, too. Would be dumb to throw the baby out with the bathwater. Sure, it would be weird if she invites her ex to Pakistan for a week or goes back to Bahrain to sleep with him for a week. But if I'm also not monogamous with her then it'd be less weird. Letting my internal expectations/status-meter get way ahead of where we decided to be at -- and we'd talked about it several times -- was not good. Didn't quite realize how far ahead I'd gotten until she hit me with the "I'm not ready to be done romantically with ex" yesterday.
Still need a bit of time to get over the shock of having my quasi-unacknowledged feelings scrambled. Not gonna rush back into bed with her, even though she expressly told me her door's open. But I think getting over it can, if I want it to, mean that we're FWB. I think that'd be cool.
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