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Got to hoop last night for the first time in a min at a small local college. Was a little rusty but still did pretty much what i wanted even playing at 60-70% (effort...and my low back was tiiiight from deadlifts). Couple guys were trying to dunk around after (2 actually were, both 6'2ish) so i tried a few. They said the floor isnt bouncy buy it felt fine to me. Easy two hander of a walkup. Crushed a few off glass. Back ironed a mill off the dribble, that one surprised me. Excited to see where Im at hyped up and 100%. Had to stretch hams and spinal erectors afterwards...ugh.

Ummmm....

Deadlifted Thursday: top single of 475. 6x3 at 425. 1x5 at 425. No assistance work. Mentally was just stressed af last week. Neeves were wrecked. Skipped Friday. Sat was light speed work. Sunday felt better after some stuff... hooped for 2 hours, did ok. Then back/biceps.

Last night was squats:

BW: 176.5lbs
Left shoulder is meh...not sure why, wasnt from lifting. Maybe slept wrong. Energy was ok.

Warmups+stretch+jumps

Squat:
bar x12, 135 x10, 225 x6 315 x3, 365 x1, 405 x1. Got vid. Will upload later 😊.

345 for 6x3. 7th set i did 4. Wanted 5 but...didnt want to push too much.

Assistance circuits x2 each:
-step ups (135lbs x10), leg press calf raise (6 plates per side? lol x25), box jumps, core/abs.
-leg extensions (x12 SL @ 70lbs, DL x8 at 160lbs), front squat (185 for 10, 205 x8, 225 x1, 275 x1, 315 x fail, 225 x6), box jumps, core stuff.

solid session. kinda mad at the 315 fs. I got about quarter depth and felt my right knee start to cave a tad and said nope...and came up. Maybe if I moved FS to the beginning i could hit it. I know i have 295ish in me for sure judging by the 275 rep.

I agree on the joints thing. Its why winstrol is a big NO after researching. Mentally...the evidence suggests i should be happier on cycle lol at least for this stack. I mean...I'll probably wait at least a few months because i dont have enough info. And i like info.

Ok so short story. Baby momma has decided I cant see my princess until our court date...which hasnt been set. Its killing me.

THEN the soon to be ex wife and I had the SAME damn fight weve always had...literally the ONE thing we dont agree on (how she responds to other guys especially on socail media) so I left. Couldn't take it. 2 days later shes sleeping with a dude who lifts at my gym (wtf bro code?!?!) AND doing everything she can to make my life hell. I dont get it...Ive ALWAYS told her i just want her happy. So if she wants to leave...ok. Just be honest and Ill walk away. But the lies are coming out now and I still love her but I cant be with her (not that she would have any interest coming back) because its toxic but im struggling to move forward given the circumstances. That said literally everyone I know has turned their back on said gym guy so meh. He leaves for his job (permanent) in 6 days so it was literally a 2 week fling to try and hurt me. Im not letting it show Im hurt...but i am obviously. I value loyalty and honesty above all...and i feel like I was used.

Pretty much.

Yea. Im looking at it like this. 1. I said id re evaluate everything when i turned 30. 2. Im in a very dark place in my life. Some nights im literally hanging on by a thread. Im averaging 3-4 hours of sleep a day. 4. I refuse to let these...people (ex wife, baby momma, etc)...hold me back. 5. Im 30. 6. Im so close to some goals but im not sure i can make them. 7. Because of all these things...Im just thinking of letting my inner demons out and raging. But if i just go LIFT...im going to end up around 188-190lbs. Probably 8-9% BF. But my power to weight wont be affected positively imo. 9. A short 8 week low dose test/var stack with proper AI and a PCT...shouldnt shrink me permanently. From my research. IDK. Im still straddling the fence here.

Anyway... squats tonight.

BW: 175.5lbs.
Mood/energy: Dark. Whats new. Was in the gym early because a lot of the guys realize i need help right now emotionally...so they want to do legs with me because well... i do legs lol. Was good tho for me mentally.

Warmups+static stretch+jumps

squat:
bar x12, 135 x10, 225 x6, 315 x3, 365 x1, 405 x1. Planned on a 385 top single but 365 was so smooth and easy. Said F it, were going to break this mental hurdle of me getting hurt on 405. Shit. I had 425 in me. WTF. PR for LBs/BW.

6x3 at 335. Then 1 set of 5 at 335. Box jumps after each set.

Circuits x2:
-stepups (135lbs x8), calf raises x20, box jump, core..core...core.
-FS (185lbs x8, 225 x5...f it...275 x1), leg extensions (SL x12), box jump...core...core...core.

After ward managed a 10'10" touch off a drop step. Landing was eh with my legs so dead. Did not try again lol!

Great workout...now back to another lonely ass night. Well, except this Ben & Jerrys.

I should update....


Im still lifting. Life blows fucking ass. Im struggling to stay out of depression but at least I realize it. My escape is the gym. Trying not to gain a ton of weight but its hard when Im so angry. I have to stay positive even with all this negativity consuming my life. There has to a way to bounce back. I will find it. I will make sure everyone who doubted me sees the truth. Keep grinding guys. Keep grinding.

Lets see.... took Friday and Saturday off.  Sunday I hooped pickup for 2 hours. No competition really so just got a good sweat going and worked through some progressions. Single leg bounce is on the rise for sure. I dunked a meh dunk of 1 on the regulation goal and was able to dunk the 9'6" rim off either leg SL style. The right leg stuff wasnt pretty but it worked lol! As for the 2 leg stuff, I didnt get a chance to just go after it before they closed but sub max jumps seem easier/higher. Can lightly dunk 2 hands off 1-2 step walk up now with much less effort than before.

Last night:

BW: 173.2lbs.

warmups+jumps+stretch

Squat:
bar x10, 135 x8, 225 x4, 315 x1, 345 x1, 385 x1. Still not super strong on 385.

5x3 at 335lbs. Super set box jumps.

Circuits x2:
- step ups, calf raises, box jump, ton of core.
- leg extensions, front squat, box jump, ton of core.

Busted through my circuits much faster tonight...heavy sweat broken. Felt strong tho.

Ok so squatted Tuesday night at 174 lbs BW.

warmups

squats:
bar x10, 135 x8, 225 x4, 315 x1, 385 x1. Meh. 385 had a small sticking point. Not sure why but possibly fatigue and diet related.

335lbs 5x3 SS w/ box jumps

Circuits x2:
-step ups, calf raises, box jump, core.
-leg extensions, fs, box jump, core.

Decent workout overall, still adjusting to the lower body weight. Worl sets felt strong. Not sure why the 385 was so eh.

Wed:
shot around for an hour after work. ate. headed to the gym. was going to split some speed work and back work but in an attempt to jeep BW down...I skipped back lol! I'll hit back/biceps Fri or Saturday.

Typical speed work day I listed above. BW was 173.5lbs.

Im training a buddy and even tho he's messed a few sessions hes gone from a 24-25" vert to a tested 30" vert tonight (after running 8 full court games earlier today, lucky him). Impressive for the 6-8 weeks hes been lifting. Proud of him.

Just realized that the 475 deadlift was a PR by a bit in terms of strength to BW. I did some back work Friday and backed off the volume a little bit to stay low in my BW as i suspect most of my weigh loss is from upper body. I think if i push heavy-ish for lower reps i can maintain a good deal of strength without the extra BW. My knee feels absolutely fantastic in the low-mid 170s. I think i look a ton better at 180-182 lol but thats a sacrifice ill make for now.

Did a ton of speed work Saturday night. BW was 173.2 lbs Speed work looks something like this (ill just list everything lol)

warmup
-SL ham curls x30 (30lbs)
-SL extensions x30 (25lbs)
-glute machine x30 each leg (25lbs)
-SL ham curls x10 (70lbs), DL x8 (160lbs)
-SL extensions x10 (50lbs), DL x8 (130lbs)
-glute machine x12 (70lbs), x5 at (130lbs)

-dynamic track warmup: high knees, butt kicks, a/b skips, leg swings, BW squats

-quick static stretch to check mobility/flexibility

-progressive box jumps (start on 18" box for 10-12, go to 30" for 4-6)
-line hops x30 for speed
-depth jumps x6 (off 24" box over 30" box)
-SVJ x6
-leap ups x10
-pogos x20 for height, focus on dorsiflexion
-round of depth jumps x4 and SL depth jumps x4 each leg (off 24" box over 18" box, first time trying these, completely different loading pattern!)

and thats my usual warmup for leg or speed days.

speed work:
-lateral hurdle hops for speed and height (used a low hurdle for speed and a regular hurdle for height)
-jump complexes (successive jumps over various hurdles/boxes for GCT and height, alternatively)
-1 step box jumps
-split squat jumps
-some ladder drills
- finish with another round of complexes.

Weights (i do these as 1 complex as quick as possible with safety in mind. usually takes <2mins to finish each circuit)
-banded squat jumps x8 (95lbs barbell + 120lbs bands)
-135lbs hang cleans x5
-2 3 step box jumps

I do this circuit 3-4x with short rests in between to make sure each work set is done maximally.

And thats speed day in a nutshell. Occasionally I'll end the session with some short sprints but thats rare.