The Dismemberment MethodThis technique, mastered in the secretive training halls of ZinZi China, allows an athlete to achieve full sports mastery. In order to fully break the protective barrier provided to us by the CNS, the coaches at ZinZi have come up with what is highly regarded as the most effective shock method known to mankind.
1. Athlete prepares for sports mastery.
2. Coach, athlete, & reconstructive surgeons enter the "zoom room" securely located within the training hall's compound.
3. Athlete performs an as of this time, unknown ritual.
4. Athlete grabs ahold of a specially tempered ginsu knife specially crafted by enslaved Tibetan monks.
5. Athlete, through strength of will of impulse, takes the ginsu and chops off fully, one of his fingers. Here, the athlete is to show no pain, no facial expressions, no deep breathes, and no rise in heart rate. If any of these components are not achieved, then sports mastery did not occur, and must be reschedule for a later date, but next time, using a katana sword used in the execution of Chinese rice farmer's who do not pay taxes.
6. The athlete's finger is immediately reconstructed. Using the time tested techniques, full range of motion, strength, & nerve sensation are recovered.
7. The full capacity of the innate reserves is now able to be realized, through strength of will of impulse.
Do not try this, it is not for you.
Show Posts
