Adarq.org

slept like garbage last night. had one continuous dream about my two most meaningful exes, which i may or may not have awoken in the middle of. in the first part, i was lying on the floor with the most recent ex and nicole aniston, the porn star. we were all naked. ex had invited nicole aniston to have sex with me after ex used clippers to trim my pubes. this was all a big surprise. i knew that she'd have liked me to trim my pubes, although she never specifically asked about it, and in the dream she seemed really excited by the whole thing, so i went along with it. i find nicole aniston very unattractive, so i was worried i wouldn't be able to get it up. and in fact, when she started to straddle me i was still limp. then, suddenly, time had passed. i was standing in the same room but with my previous ex sitting on the floor. both of us clothed. she was looking at me mournfully, pouting, but not saying anything. then i looked around and noticed that she'd taken all of her things out of the room. she was moving out and breaking up with me and it was a fait accompli. i was taken aback by the suddenness and finality of it, which was true of my actual breakup with that ex. then she was not there anymore and i was alone, looking around at the stuff that was left.

you don't exactly have to be freud to note that i am craving both physical and emotional intimacy and that i miss both of my exes.

anyway, on the upside i was awake super early this morning so i went for a run after missing last night because of work.

- run 8.05 km in 40:48
felt absolutely wonderful, need to commit to morning exercise because it makes the rest of the day so much better.

- stretch

immediately after waking

- GMB standing warm up
- face/neck stretches
- meditate x 10 mins

evening

- run 1:02, 12.39 km
slightly sore. kept it nice and relaxed.

- stretch

left shoulder still quite sore and tender. there's a big bruise, as well, about the size of a deck of cards but oval shaped. and upper traps are stiff and sore now. did much more mobilization and self-massage throughout the day than normal.

oh yeah i've seen that video before, absolutely bananas how he tunes the guitar while playing, as an embellishment. cool that you got to see him in a setting like that.

got the shot. what a relief. feel tired now but otherwise no ill effects, shoulder feels fine.

no run tonight.

- run 9.3 km in 46:30
rough. ten days off = fitness decline. also it's suddenly warm.

- push up x 20,20

- stretch

got a vaccine appointment for tomorrow. fuck yes.

exercise taking a back seat this week. doing some push ups and BSS and a few pull ups on my aunt's old swing set but that's about it. did go for a nice ~30 minute walk with my mom this evening.

Man your house/land is GOALS. I would absolutely love to have something like that one day.

yeah i was just talking with my best friend last night about the idea of buying a place together with his wife and another friend. we live in really expensive places (SF, DC) so this would be a kind of shared retreat situation somewhere cheaper and more beautiful. seems more realistic than buying homes where we live and i love the idea of (1) owning some land in common with close friends and (2) having a place that i know i can go back to year after year that's in a beautiful setting far away from crowds.