not to hate but sub-20 doesn't seem very ambitious. i ran a 20 minute 5k when i was a sophomore or junior in high school, with half a season of halfhearted training (thanks DC sniper). given the volume you're already training at, i bet sub-20 would be pretty easy with a bit of race-pace practice. why not aim for sub-19 or 18:30?
Running during the DC sniper saga sounds scary as fuck. I was playing basketball out at street courts during that time, everyone was nervous/worried and we were in Florida, not DC. That's how intense those few weeks were. The only funny thing to come out of that was how people would (jokingly) make fun of me/my race (I was one of the only white people in the park lol), saying stuff indicating it had to be a white guy.. then we find out it's two black people..
Well sub 20 is the goal in an official race, because for some reason I mentally collapse during official races. I'd just be happy with sub-20 because it's more of a "mental barrier" i've overcome. That other 5k I ran several months ago was 22:51, that was a major collapse. I ran 20:06 today (lmao), which is again another collapse, but not as bad as the previous one.. So i'm making progress.
This mental "issue" isn't anything new, but it's definitely worse now than its ever been. I mean I took a few (close to 3 years) off training, so that doesn't help. Alot of my killer instinct has been dampened, but it's slowly coming back. Through my athletic history, I can think back to times where I "freeze" in competition. One of the worst times I froze was the first time I sparred hard in boxing with everyone watching (all of the coaches, pro fighters etc). I had been sparring this kid hard for months, he was a warrior, but I just schooled him every time. So finally we're sparring in front of nearly the whole gym, and I just couldn't throw punches. I was a deer in the headlights. I had to survive for 5 rounds without being able to put together any offense. My instinctive defense got me through it without getting wrecked. It was hell on earth, I can still remember it like it was yesterday. It felt like a nightmare where you can't move. Subsequent sparring matches I would school him in front of everyone. It's as if when there's an "official pressure", I stop thinking. Everything is completely instinctive (which can be a great thing). It's the same with running, it seems. I didn't even know what I ran today, until I saw the results on the wall. I didn't see any of the times on the mile markers or the finish time. My normal ability to 'talk to myself in my head' just disappears. The good news (for me) is that I know this eventually disappears. It may come back somewhat on 'bigger stages', just seems to be in my nature.
It's similar to when I dunked.. Initially, jumping in front of people would make me more passive. Eventually, I would seek it out because i'd get so amped.
I'll post about the race in a sec.
pc!
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